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Kar Freitag 2013 - Snow Joke *updated*

Details

snow entrance

easterGlobal share prices in steel fell dramatically today after snow fell on the Nürburgring Nordschleife's notorious "Kar Freitag".

"Demand for crash barriers and new Golf mk 2 shells will be 300% down, year on year," confirmed Mr. Ron Girder, a totally made-up steel expert from the internet.

RECOVERY TO RUIN

Inside reports from Boongarden's Nürburgring Recovery Company, stating that bonuses are to be cut and several trucks are to be sold, have been dismissed by the owner.

"Things are a lot slower, but we are looking forward to the first race practice next weekend and all those foreign drivers trying to learn the track while driving a 450hp BMW M3. For sure, it will be good business for us," he said, his eyes devoid of sympathy.

DANGEROUS DRIVING COMPETITION

The ever-popular dangerous driving competition had to be moved from the Nordschleife and onto the public street. Unfortunately, due to communication problems, two of the most highly-rated contenders began the competition in totally seperate locations. An Audi TT-RS flying into the forest near Pflanzgarten, while a Skyline attempted to mate with the roundabout by the info centre...


ttevo
Efforts to produce a cheaper, reliable 4WD turbo by cross-breeding failed miserably.

 

GTR
Click to watch the fail...

  

GIANT PENIS

Sales of brightly coloured spray paint are also rumoured to be 500% down year on year at the local Schlug DIY store. "The lack of Easter graffiti could be confusing to the more experienced racing drivers," warned one VLN racer. "Without teenagers drinking Jägerbombs and painting gigantic 4mtr penises on the corner entries, it will be difficult to recognise all the turning-in points. And how will the VLN drivers cope without knowing vital information such as DARREN CARTER LOVES COCK?"

beer
And you can click here to get an impression of what Kar Freitag is all about... (especially from 2m30s onwards) 


> > SERIOUS BIT FOLLOWS > > 

While it's easy to be flippant or cynical about today's events, the loss of Kar Freitag is a deadly blow for both the local businesses and the Nürburgring itself. If you really want to SAVE THE RING, then you need to understand that days like these are the life-blood of the circuits and surrounding businesses.

This instagram photo from Hohe Acht shows just how hard the Nürburgring team were working to open the track for us all today. Working by hand to clean the ice and snow off the track. Now that's dedication, I'm sure you'll agree."

insta

   

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